Trump/USA Plummeting Toward North Huron Dictatorship After Partial Media Ban 

Trump Bans Media From White House — Experts Warn U.S. Could Eventually Sink As Low As North Huron

WASHINGTON / NORTH HURON — Americans woke up this weekend to the disturbing realization that their country may be taking its first tentative steps toward the most terrifying form of government known to modern civilization:

North Huron-style democracy.

President Donald Trump announced Friday that CNN, MS NOW and Politico were banned from the White House, accusing the outlets of reporting “fake news.” On Saturday, journalists from the three organizations were denied access.

Trump also suggested other media outlets could eventually get the boot.

It is alarming stuff.

But residents of North Huron are reportedly unimpressed.

“Amateurs.”

While Washington is apparently just discovering the ancient authoritarian art of getting rid of reporters you don’t like, North Huron has been pioneering exciting innovations in government-media relations for years.

Why merely ban certain reporters?

Ban the questions.

Why argue with the press?

Don’t answer them.

Why worry about an embarrassing recording?

Ban the cameras.

Why risk citizens asking elected officials what the hell they’re doing?

Apparently the safest question is the one nobody is allowed to ask.

Trump may think he’s blazing a bold new trail toward totalitarianism, but from North Huron’s perspective, the Americans are still in kindergarten.

TRUMP HAS A LONG WAY TO GO

Under Trump’s frightening new system, millions of Americans can still criticize their government.

Reporters can still stand outside the White House and report.

Citizens can still ask politicians questions.

Newspapers can still publish criticism.

People can still record politicians in public.

Pathetic.

At this rate, America may need years before it achieves North Huron levels of governmental enlightenment.

Perhaps the White House should send a delegation north.

North Huron could offer an intensive three-day seminar:

Day One: Questions: Why Governments Are Better Without Them.

Day Two: Cameras: The Natural Predator of Bureaucracy.

Day Three: The Free Press: Have You Considered Just Trying To Make Them Go Away?

Graduates receive a complimentary “TRANSPARENCY” binder.

The binder is empty.

RUMOURS OF NORTH HURON INFLUENCE

There is, of course, absolutely no evidence Trump copied North Huron.

That’s the satire, folks.

But we’re beginning to wonder.

Maybe somebody slipped Trump the North Huron Government Survival Manual:

Rule #1: If citizens ask uncomfortable questions, stop taking questions.

Rule #2: If cameras record uncomfortable things, deal with the cameras.

Rule #3: If the Free Press keeps reporting uncomfortable things, attack the Free Press.

Rule #4: Continue using the word “transparency” as frequently as possible.

AMERICA STILL HAS HOPE

The good news is that America hasn’t reached rock bottom.

Yet.

CNN, MS NOW and Politico have condemned Trump’s action, and press-freedom advocates argue that excluding journalists because officials dislike their reporting raises serious First Amendment problems.

That’s where the Americans still have an advantage.

They have a First Amendment.

North Huron residents have something arguably even more powerful:

A municipal election on October 26.

So Americans concerned about Trump’s latest move should remember this cautionary tale:

Government rarely wakes up one morning and announces:

“Welcome to Totalitarian Tuesday!”

It happens one little restriction at a time.

One camera.

One reporter.

One question.

One citizen told to shut up.

Until eventually someone looks around and asks:

“How the hell did we get here?”

And somewhere in North Huron, a taxpayer quietly replies:

“You were warned, but we were expecting you.”